


nice try

by ilgaksu



Series: christmas '15 [3]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Agender Kuroo, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Library, Lactose Intolerant Yaku Morisuke, Libriarian!Yaku, M/M, Troll!Kuroken, Useless!Lev, non-binary kenma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-06
Updated: 2016-01-06
Packaged: 2018-05-12 04:42:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5652835
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ilgaksu/pseuds/ilgaksu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Good morning, Yaku!"<br/>"Oh, Christ," Yaku says, looking up from a stack of old index cards. "It's you."</p>
            </blockquote>





	nice try

**Author's Note:**

  * For [highlystrungdoll](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=highlystrungdoll).



"Holy shit," Taketora says, too loud, "I didn't think he'd actually do it. Holy fucking shit." 

On one of the couches nearby, an English PhD (fawn coat and butterfly scarf hung over the back of her chair) scowls over her red pen and printouts at them. Kuroo has put hir feet up on the table, sprawled across one of the beanbags in a spill of ripped tights and flower print skirt with the sort of obnoxious ease that screams _I've got the time spare to be in the wrong faculty._ Taketora scrubs his hand over the bristles on his head, snickering under his breath as they all watch Lev - Haiba Lev, Russian-Japanese, six foot whatever, ASNAC, the human embodiment of the exclamation mark - fucking _Lev_ , walk up to the library counter. The human embodiment of an exclamation mark naturally hasn't ever learnt the concept of an inside voice, so the sound fucking carries, and Taketora stuffs a hand into his mouth to stifle his laughter. Kuroo looks on benignly; Kenma ignores them all in favour of their laptop.

  
"Good morning, Yaku!"

"Oh, Christ," Yaku says, looking up from a stack of old index cards. "It's you."

  
Next to Kuroo, ze sees Kenma's hands flying over their keyboard, the soft bloop of Facebook chat.

_ i thought librarians were supposed to be happy to help people, yaku. _

_ fuck off, kenma.  _ _ lev needs helping from himself _

Kenma snorts, the sound soft and barely-there, and they close the tab again.

  
"I have a question this time, Yaku!" Lev says, sunshine rays at fuck o'clock in the morning.

"Wonderful," Yaku says darkly, sounding exactly how everyone really feels at nine thirty am. "Are you sure you don't want to use the Moodle? It's all online. You don't have to talk to anyone. Anyone at all."

"I like talking to you, Yaku," Lev says brightly, and Yaku pushes his glasses further up the bridge of his nose.

"Uh huh."

"And the Moodle is really confusing," Lev says, looking genuinely distressed, "It's all in the same colour and it's not fun at all."

Kenma coughs under their breath. It sounds suspiciously like a laugh, but when Kuroo glances over, their face is entirely blank.

"An interactive learning environment," Yaku says, very slowly, "is not meant to be fun, Lev. It's meant to be useful."

"Well, then they got that wrong too! You're much easier!"

Kenma opens the tab.

_ i think someone wants to push your buttons, yaku _

  
_ fUCK OFF KENMA I'M WORKING _

  
_....that wasn't me. that was kuroo. _

"Get to the point, Lev," Yaku says, spinning on his chair to grab a box for the index cards whilst Lev creases his brow with a suddenly panicked expression.

  
"Just a sec, lemme -" Lev's face clears like sunshine through clouds and he beams at Yaku, who wriggles uncomfortably on his chair.

"I'd like your stamp of approval, Yaku!" Lev says, delighted with himself. There's a moment of silence, where Yaku just stares silently and Taketora hunches over, shaking, and Kuroo bites down hard on zir own lip.

"....was there anything you actually needed, Lev," Yaku says finally.

"Because that would mean you were checking me out, Yaku." Lev says slowly, frowning in confusion. "Because, you know. Did you not get it? I can say it again if you didn't get it."

"Please don't say it again," Yaku says, too quickly, and Kuroo is biting down hard enough to draw blood, now. "Please just...I got it the first time, Lev."

It’s a Monday. 

 

*

Tuesdays, Yaku doesn’t work, so Kuroo is deprived of the enjoyment of watching Yaku’s pissy cat face when faced with the embodiment of a heart eyes emoji.

“You’re a sadist,” Kenma says quietly when ze complains, lying next to them on their bed whilst watching the way Kenma’s eyes zone out when they’re coding. Without looking away from their screen, Kenma reaches out a hand and pushes Kuroo’s face away. “And stop that.” 

“Can’t stop won’t stop,” Kuroo says, but ze rolls onto hir back anyway to look at the ceiling. “I think you’re mistaking sadism for opportunistic.”

There’s a pause, and then the tapping of keys stops. Kenma leans over and tucks some hair behind Kuroo’s ear. They contemplate each other for a second in silence. 

“You’re really pretty,” Kuroo says, “Did I mention that yet?”

Kenma rolls their eyes. 

“Opportunistic,” they say, but lean down to kiss hir anyway. “You’re going to keep an eye on them,” they say, in between kisses, and Kuroo makes a distracted noise of assent, “If Yaku gets bothered by it, you’re calling Lev off. He’s just scared enough by you to listen.”

“He’d listen to you better,” Kuroo tries, but Kenma shakes their head hurriedly. “How am I going to know?”

Kenma grins then, suddenly.

“Yaku’s fine right now. He’s not the sadist. The martyr act. Trust me, when he gets sick of it, you’ll know.” 

“I want you to know I know you’re playing me right now,” Kuroo says, arching up off the bed. “I want you to know I know that.”

“Opportunistic,” they murmur, “We match.” 

*

On Wednesday, Yaku waits for Lev to appear. Kuroo can tell. To the untrained eye, Yaku is balancing a bunch of returns on one hip whilst shelving them, but he isn’t straying far enough from the desk to be taking it seriously. Kuroo has set up camp on the beanbags, sprawled obnoxiously, picking at the holes in hir tights, hood up on Bokuto’s hoodie; Yaku’s already clocked hir, rolling his eyes and turning away in favour of shelving another book. 

“You’re not subtle,” Yaku mutters when he passes. 

“You think I wear teal lipstick to be _subtle_?” Kuroo answers back, and Yaku sighs. 

Even for someone waiting, Lev isn’t exactly someone you can predict, so when he appears and makes a beeline for Yaku, Yaku almost drops the books in surprise at Lev’s sudden enthusiasm. 

“What’s new,” Taketora says to Kuroo, returning to the beanbags. He’d tried and failed to sneak a coffee into the library, and Yaku had opened the door to walk Taketora out to the disposal. 

“You get caffeine on our Shakespeare,” Yaku had said, “And I get on your case ‘till you die.” 

“That sounds like a come on,” Taketora had pointed out, but gone relatively quietly anyway. Kuroo just points to the unfolding drama silently, not trusting hir voice.  

“Hello Lev,” Yaku says, “The stapler is over there. I’m sure Google will be helpful in that regard.”

“What’s your ISBN, Yaku?” Lev chirps, undeterred, and Kuroo snorts. Today he’s wearing the ugliest neon Hawaiian print shirt Kuroo has ever seen, and jeans so tight Kuroo would bet real hard cash they were painted on if he hadn’t once seen Inuoka grab Lev’s leg to check. Yaku doesn’t even look at him, just keeps shelving books. 

“No, Lev,” Yaku says. “You can’t check me out. I’m an employee.”

“I see,” Lev says, looking momentarily troubled. Yaku glances at him then, uncertain, and goes to open his mouth but Lev brightens up almost immediately.  

“If I can’t take you out, can’t I keep coming back for reference?” Lev asks, and Yaku closes his eyes for a second. Out of Yaku’s sight, Lev drums his fingers on his thigh anxiously. 

“If we’re really going to go with this metaphor,” Yaku replies, “Then yes. That is my job. I’m here to help.” The last sentence sounds positively murderous.  

“Okay, then,” Lev says, “I’m going to retreat gracefully, because one time Kenma told me that I had to learn when to let it go, but I’m going to think of a way around this. See you tomorrow, Yaku!” 

“You have a degree to be doing, Lev!” Yaku calls after him, but to no avail. 

Yaku stares after Lev’s upbeat exit faintly, looking like he’s just been hit around the head several times. He turns and leans his forehead against the bookshelf for a moment. When he looks up, he catches Kuroo cackling.

“Why is he so stupid?” Yaku says, going and sitting down next to Kuroo on the beanbags. “Isn’t he supposed to be getting educated here?” 

Kuroo shrugs. Anglo-Saxon, Norse and Celtic is a niche subject in the first place, you know? 

There’s a brief silence.

“He smells like flowers,” Yaku says, looking down at his hands and  frowning, and Kuroo just laughs. 

*

On Thursday, Lev taps the Quiet in the Library sign, grins and says, “I bet you I could make you break that.”

“And I’m sure, Lev,” Yaku replies evenly, “That I could break a lot of things. Including you. Is that all for today?” 

Lev swallows hard, staring at Yaku’s brilliantine smile like a bird caught in a trap, and leaves. Yaku hums to himself as he finishes filing. 

*

On Friday, Lev brings Yaku coffee.

A mild spoiler: Yaku Morisuke is lactose-intolerant. 

*

“I’m lactose-intolerant, Lev,” Yaku says immediately on Friday, when Lev triumphantly hands the to-go cup over. Kuroo can see the cream swimming in it from here and winces. 

Lev’s face falls. Even his lip fucking wobbles. The worst part is he’s trying to act nonchalant. Kuroo gets out hir phone to text Kenma about this development when Yaku looks at Lev’s expression, sighs, and lifts the cup to his mouth, takes the tiniest sip known to humankind, swallows it, shudders and says:

“Thank you, Lev.” 

Kuroo drops hir phone, but can’t look away. 

“Man,” Lev says, because Kenma’s right and he doesn’t know how to let it go. “You’re just like JSTOR. You’d be so good if I only knew how to use you properly.”

Yaku chokes on air. 

“See you on Monday, Yaku!” Lev says, and practically skips out. Yaku waits until the door swings shut to throw the rest of the coffee in the bin. 

*

“Green tea,” Kuroo tells Lev, when he catches him outside the building ten minutes later. “Green tea. Bring the sugar packets separately.”

Lev grins and nods.

*

It’s Monday again.

“So,” Lev tries. “The Dewey Decimal System. Sure love that -”

“No,” says Yaku. 

*

“See you tomorrow, short stacks!” Lev waves on Wednesday.

“Don’t make me throw this stapler at you,” Yaku calls over, and Lev just laughs.

*

“He’s going to get himself killed,” Kuroo tells Kenma. Kenma just shrugs.

“Two birds with one stone,” they say. 

“You’re the sadist,” Kuroo says, delighted. Kenma raises their eyebrows and reaches for their laptop.

“I thought we agreed,” they say, “On opportunistic.” 

*

“Boy, are you the Russian section?” Lev goes for on Thursday.

“....Go on,” Yaku says, with the tone of someone who knows he will regret saying exactly that.

“Because you look familiar but I just don’t know how to read you.”

“Do you actually need my help, Lev,” Yaku asks.

“Yes! With indexing!”

“.....Right. Where’s the -”

“Do I file you under A for Adorable?”

Yaku colours. Kuroo and Taketora exchange high-fives. As soon as Lev leaves, Yaku leans forward and puts his head in his hands. 

*

On the to-go cup of green tea Lev drops off on Friday, there’s a note scrawled along it.

“Are my books overdue? Because you are  fine.”

Yaku picks it up to lob it in the bin, visibly hesitates, and takes a sip.

*   


On Saturday, Yaku finds out about Lev’s modelling via the internet and immediately rings Kuroo.

“I can’t believe you didn’t tell me,” he accuses.

“I thought he was annoying,” Kuroo replies.

“He is,” Yaku responds automatically, then hangs up. 

*

“I see you scanning me,” Lev smirks on Monday. He’s actually picking up books for once.  

“Have a nice day, Lev,” Yaku says, and Lev nearly drops them all at once.

“Yaku!” he gasps, flushing rose to his ears.

“Go quickly,” Yaku says, “Before I take it back.”

Lev runs for the doors. 

*

“Wait,” Lev says, sounding confused on Wednesday. Kuroo is hanging off the edge of hir seat in anticipation. “Why would you want to have coffee, Yaku? You say you see me too much here. You don’t like coffee.”

Kuroo is afraid to blink. Yaku’s expression is priceless and ze is not missing a second of it if ze can help it. 

“Lev,” Yaku says, “I would like to see you in a non-library capacity, when I’m not trying t help you with referencing or rescuing you from our stapler.”

“Oh!” Lev says, and covers his mouth with both hands. “Oh.” 

“Yes,” Yaku says irritably. 

They’re both going red, and in Kuroo’s head ze hears Kenma:  _ we match.  _


End file.
